.[a beautiful lie].

Gonna switch journals. These are the ideas I have for new user names so far. VOTE PLEASE!



obstructedview
obstructed_view

generationlost
generation_lost

ohmyjuliet
oh_my_juliet

blackcadillac
black_cadillac

paperwings
paper_wings

paralyzer
paralyzer_
_paralyzer

receptionfades
reception_fades

float_on

edit:
( where's the love? )

[FINISH...]
I HATE: those days where no matter what I do, I still feel shitty, fat, ugly, and like I'll never be good enough for anyone.
I MISS: having a dog to walk.
I HEAR: the tv (ctv news) and rise against
I REGRET: A few things.
I LIKE: ranting in my journals/blogging in general.
I DANCE: like a spaztic monkey
I SING: loudly, badly, and obnoxiously
I GOT THIS SURVEY FROM: CHAR FTW
I SHOULD: be doing many things but I'm doing this survey because I am addicted to these bitches.


[WHEN YOU SEE THIS NAME YOU THINK OF...]
RYAN: Jen's friend Ryan...At first I thought he was an asshole, but he's a pretty cool person, as is all of Jen's friends.
DOUG: The cartoon show! With Patty Mayonaise
JOHN: My first jr.high crush, lawlz.
SCOTT: My sister's super quiet friend.
KENNY: south park.


[IN THE LAST FEW DAYS, HAVE YOU...]
GOT HIGH?: perhaps. i get high on JESUS roflmao.
GOT DRUNK?: I got tipsy on saturday.
KISSED SOMEONE?: yah =]
CRIED?: naw
HELPED SOMEONE?: sorta
GOTTEN ILL?: naw
GONE TO THE CINEMA: naw
GONE OUT FOR DINNER?: no but on sunday me 'n jason ordered pizza.
SAID "I LOVE YOU"?: yah. i say it to my parents and jason every day.
WRITTEN A REAL LETTER?: no
WRITTEN IN A JOURNAL?: lawl yes
FOUGHT WITH YOUR PARENTS?: negative


[WOULD YOU EVER...]
1. EAT AN INSECT?: done it
2. BUNGEE JUMP?: yes
3. HANG GLIDE?:yes
4. KILL SOMEONE?: if i felt it was necessary
5. WALK ON HOT COALS?: uh no
6. GO OUT TO EAT WITH A COMPLETE STRANGER?: sure if they arent a rapist.
7. GO OUT WITH SOMEONE FOR THEIR REPUTATION?: naw
8. BE A VEGETARIAN?: never
9. PURPOSELY HURT SOMEONE?: sure.
10. RUN A RED LIGHT?: uh sure
11. DYE YOUR HAIR BLUE?: yes
17. MAKE SOMEONE CRY?: i unno
19. STAY UP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT: done it.

[THE LAST PERSON WHO...]
1. SLEPT ON THE SAME BED WITH YOU?: jason
2. SAW YOU CRY?: jason or my mom
3. YOU SAW CRY?: jason
4. WENT TO THE CINEMA WITH?: jason
5. WENT TO DINNER/LUNCH WITH?: jason
6. THAT CALLED YOU ON THE PHONE: jason
7. THAT YOU CALLED ON THE PHONE: jason
8. TEXT YOU: no idea
9. MADE YOU LAUGH: rei-chan

[DO YOU PREFER]
1. FLOWERS OR CANDY ? flowersss
2. GRAY OR BLACK?: black
3. COLOR OR BLACK?:colour
5. SUNRISE OR SUNSET?: sunset
6. STAYING UP LATE OR WAKING UP EARLY?: staying up late

I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh God it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
sitting all alone inside your head

'Cause I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
All I know is that it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever feels like home,
sitting all alone inside your head

Such an amazing song. It gives me chills.

pics are kinda big...hair looks better in real life. Will take better pics later maybe.

( cha cha cha )

Thinking of switching journals. Back in November I got an email from my mom saying she knew what I was doing, because she had read it on one of my online journals. Ever since then I've been paranoid as hell. If I do end up switching then I'll let you know by leaving a comment in your journal with my new user name.

Feeling super lonely right now...I was looking forward to Jason coming over today, but because he smoked a lot of pot with Caylon, Aaron, and Landon, he didn't sleep much so he overslept when he had his nap this afternoon. He was planning on coming early in the morning but he wasn't showered and he thought I wasn't going to be up so he decided to nap and then shower and catch a ride with Landon. But that didn't happen, so now I feel all super disappointed and super lonely.

I feel like bawling my eyes out. Being a girl blows. I really want chocolate or ice cream, or ...


Sorry. My neighbours got into a really fucking intense fight so i was listening at my window and spying to make sure shit didn't get violent.

Gonna update more later.

Feeling much better.

Cleaned my room. Yay. It's all nice now.

Maybe my bad dreams will stop.

So Jason is gonna audition for some theatre job in Fort Mcleod. He might either stay in Fort Mcleod or at Melinda's (the girl he didn't choose).

THAT really bothers me. If he stays with Melinda for two months. I love him, and I trust him, but I do not fucking trust her at all. And I really wouldn't like it if he stayed there for two fucking months.

- still fat
- still lazy
- still super far behind on my correspondance shit.

http://www.43things.com/person/ColdReverie


Addicting.

Lol.

I don't update much now, lol. Sorry guys. I do read your entries every day and I comment when I have something to say.

Not much has happened, I think. Lol.

Point form:

- Spent thursday,friday, and most of saturday @ Jason's house. Was awesome :)
- Last Wednesday we took my mom to the hospital because she was having bad pain in her abdomen...Turns out she was having a gall stone attack caused by something fatty she ate so now she has to carefully watch what she eats.
- I procrastinate too much.
- Jason and I have been going out for a month (since tuesday)..Squee. We're going to the museum on friday then we're gonna walk around in the coulees and take pictures...Then later we are going to a movie.


Not really anything else I can say...I'll probably update tomorow. Maybe.

I feel so gross and ugly. For some reason my face hates me. It decided to break out super bad and now I dont want to go out in public. Ewwww.

Weeeird


( Some weird ass email that was sent to me )